Common Misconceptions About Cats

Cats have been worshipped by some cultures since the beginning of time. The Egyptians certainly valued them, what with their mystical reverence and statue building. But today, there are many misconceptions non-cat people have about cats. For some reason, there are actually people who hate these fantastic creatures, and in the spirit of fairness and equality, we have to allow even those fools a voice. So today, I’m going to address each of the most common myths about cats and debunk them using facts and science. And adorable photographic evidence.

Myth #1: Cats are Loners.

This is far too black and white. Most cats are actually outgoing introverts. You know those people who claim to be introverts because they “need their ‘me’ time,” but when you’re out with them in public they will talk your ear off about the latest episode of Sherlock for so long that a new episode of Sherlock will actually be released during your conversation? Yeah, cats are like these people.

I mean, sure, felines love to curl up by themselves on the couch and listen to the bird sounds outside for hours without interruptions, but they also like to be scratched on the head and served treats. You just have to pick your moments with cats. They love human interaction; they just need like twenty hours of solitude to recharge after every one hour petting session.

This cat is definitely too cool for you. But that’s okay. Maybe you’re a dog person. 

Myth #2: Cats Don’t Come When They’re Called.

First of all, this misconception is most commonly used as a means of degrading cats, to make the point that they aren’t as good as dogs. But that’s pretty narrow-minded, really. How is coming when you’re called the ultimate measuring stick for an animal’s worth? I babysit full time, and trust me, most of your toddlers don’t come when they’re called either. So, if this trait is so important, maybe some of you should reconsider your choice of dependents that you keep around the house.

Also, my cat definitely comes when he’s called. He might need me to call his name twenty-seven times and jingle his favorite toy after smothering myself in delicious fish oil, but come on. He eventually gets his butt over to me. When he’s ready.

I especially like how your voice gets higher and higher with each attempt.

Myth #3: Cats Don’t Really Love People.

Okay, humans don’t really know this. I mean, have you ever actually asked a cat if he loves you? Maybe he was just waiting for you to make the first move. Maybe he was still getting over a breakup when you first met him, and he’s just not ready to fully commit again. I don’t know. The point is, this myth is stupid, because everyone knows that rubbing your scent all over someone and licking their toes are some of the most common nonverbal signs of love. This is pretty well established knowledge, people. Let’s be a little more understanding of our cats’s boundaries and remember how difficult it can be to be vulnerable with someone else. Also, look at this.

If that’s not love, then…I give up.

Myth #4: Cats Have Poor Grammar.

This is a more recently spread misconception. Thanks to the internet and its daily web of lies, more and more people are being led to believe that cats are idiots who don’t know how to conjugate verbs or use correct possessive pronouns. And this is just simply not true. I mean, sure, there are probably some individual cats out there who don’t use proper grammar, but there are a lot of meathead humans out there who don’t know how to speak or write properly either, and you don’t get people making fun of them by plastering their faces on memes with the slogan: “Can I has cheezburger pls?” do you?

It’s so sad when society’s social pressures make cats feel like they have to dumb themselves down in order to get a man.

A resounding theme across the board here is that people are often far too quick to judge cats based on what the media says about them. Remember, just like celebrities who live in constant resentment of what the internet says about them and how creepily invested strangers are in their love lives, cats just want to make their own way in the world without humans falling for every stereotype or prejudice that crops up online. Let’s have a little more respect for all the felines out there who have risen above this ridiculous grammar stereotype and have become world-renowned authors, like –>

Gwen Cooper is a cat pretending to be a human to get a book deal so she could write books from the perspective of cats.

Myth #5: Cats Have Bad Breath. 

Poor oral hygiene is a problem in every country on this planet, and among all species. Not just cats. That’s like saying “Humans Have Hair on Their Legs,” and saying it like it’s a bad thing. I mean, yes, it’s true, but it’s not innately bad. Plus, there are things you can do to remove the hair, if you so chose. It’s just a thing that’s true for everyone across the board; no need to demonize it.

Cats aren’t the only ones with bad breath. I’m sure your breath doesn’t smell so great first thing in the morning pre-toothpaste either. The point is, it’s unfair to criticize cats for a problem that is pretty much universal. They make kitty treats specifically for dental care if your cat is just…disgusting. Also, tiny toothbrushes. I have watched a youtube video of someone actually brushing their cat’s teeth with a tiny toothbrush. Time consuming and…potentially dangerous, yes, but worth it? That’s up to you.

In conclusion, all of these misconceptions about cats are pretty easy to blow right out of the water. And when compared with the adorability factor of most cats, these aren’t really deal-breakers anyway. We could all stand to be a little more tolerant of species that are different than us. I think we can learn a valuable lesson about compassion by looking at these common myths about some of God’s most irresistibly cute creations by reminding ourselves to stop being so gullible and just get out there and get to know a cat. Once you get to know one, you can see past all these silly lies and stare into their true feline soul.

I hope you all get to know a cat personally real soon. Your life will be better for it. That’s it for now, goodbye and good luck.

Adorability Factor = 1 million kilokittens